Apocalypse Now…or maybe Later

My feelings about going to the prayer group were justified. I wish I hadn’t gone.

They (we?) are looking at Revelation (or as it’s known in French, Apocalypse). Ever since I was a youngish teenager and we were shown a film about What Would Happen In a Nuclear War I have had a low level fear of talking/thinking about the End of the World – be that through the Second Coming or nuclear war. This includes reading Revelation – partly because it all sounds as though things are going to get very nasty before they get better. It’s no good saying “Ah, yes, but everything will be lovely” – we still need to get through the nasty bit first. The thought of pain and burning and all other unpleasant things scares me – threaten me with such things and I will probably be scrawling my own big 666 on my forehead and right arm, before the Beast could do any forcing.And then that’s me for the Eternal Lake of Fire when God finally triumphs, isn’t it?!

Of course, that is if we take Revelation to be The Truth. Which I’m not truly sure I do. I’m not an Every-Word-Of-The-Bible-Is-Literally-True kind of gal, but several of the group are, and I struggled between being scared and trying not to laugh as there were attempts to try to decide exactly what was meant.

Apparently the current thinking is that the 12 stars mentioned in the passage in Rev 12:

A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. 3Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. 4His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. 5She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. 6The woman fled into the desert to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.

is meant to represent the EU…A good thing? Or a bad thing?There was mention of Turkey wanting to join the EUbut I’m not sure how that fitted into the story. Was it the dragon? The baby?  I’d lost the thread by now: they were talking in fairly rapid French by now and I was retreating into silence (and getting IBS because I was so worked up. Yes, I know it’s stupid, but…)  The Beast is Gorbachev, or so The Book That Deciphers Revelation says. Presumably because the poor man has a birthmark – well, of course, everyone with a port wine birthmark is inherently evil, aren’t they?

It all seems so silly to try to decipher something that may not have been meant to be deciphered anyway – I’m sure that every generation has tried to make links between the visions retold in Revelation and their present. Probably Henry VIII was identified as The Beast by the Catholics of the time (and Mary I in the same way by the Protestants of her time) And, in any case, I am of the Ostrich Persuasion: I won’t be able to change what happens, so why think about it? Why not just let it happen…?

But despite my telling myself all this, I still get myself screwed into knots by thinking and worrying about it all.

I sometimes wish I had the unswerving faith that some of the members of the group have. Everything is very much black and white to them. You’re Saved, or you’re not. And if you’re not, then it’s the Burning Lake of Fire for you. I don’t want to seem like I’m mocking them: I’m not, at all. They are lovely people, and their love and zeal for Christ is truly admirable.Maybe it’s that that I wish I had, rather than the black-and-white view of the world. Their faith is so strong, and in a way, it seems an easier faith than mine – which is all questions, confusions, doubts and really not-sure-about-anything (which seems very wishy-washy) In fact, I’m not sure some of them really think I’ve “got there” yet! In fact, I’m not sure myself if I’ve really “got there”!

sigh

Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be going again until they’ve moved onto a different book. And as they’re only on Chapter 12 that may be quite some time…

Vegetable Patch and other Stories

We don’t have a garden here in St Just. We have a small courtyard, which doesn’t get a huge amount of sun, and a balcony. The courtyard has a border with a lot of trees (elderberry/climbing rose/ some bushy-shrubby-evergreeny thing/ another tree that I don’t know the name of) and a very rocky little raised bed which is used by the neighbourhood cats, and has really poor soil. And when you water it everything runs off into the courtyard anyway. This little patch really just survives. I throw a couple of plants at it every year and they sometimes take and they sometimes don’t. There is a Bleeding Heart plant which was absolutely stunning last year, but I don’t know if it will have survived the winter, and a self seeded buddleia – which may well take over – as well as some bits of cuttings that I’ve shoved in the stony soil. And an ivy which, bien sûr, climbs up and over everything. This weekend (if it’s warm) I may try to sort this patch out a little – stake up the buddleia (at the moment it’s lying prone!) and clear up the cat shit. But for all that, it’s not a very inspiring little patch…

As well as this, for the last couple of years we’ve shared a vegetable patch with our friends A & G – the chickens are next door to this. The problem for us is that it’s about 10 minutes walk away, which can be a bit of a turn-off for going to “do a bit of weeding”. Mr D worked really hard last year, as did A, but I’m afraid I didn’t do very much – partly (but not completely) because of the amount of work I had. It was splendid to harvest our own courgettes, and pumpkins and strawberries – but even that was a bit of an effort. (Yes, as you may have gathered by now I am monumentally lazy!)

However, I do like pottering on the balcony. Last year I grew (reasonably succesfully) tomatoes and herbs, although some tomatoes got what is cheerily known as “Blossom End Rot”, which is apparently caused by “water stress”. I can only assume that means “You didn’t water the poor tomatoes enough and now you’re getting what you deserve!”

So, having seen something on a TV programme in the UK, which I vaguely took notice of, I’m planning on a trellis/container vegetable garden on the balcony. I’m going to get a piece of strong metal trellis and persuade Mr D to drill holes into the wall to hold it. I can then either hook containers onto this, and grow trailing vegetables, or plant stuff in a trough below which can climb up the trellis. I’m also thinking of what we have lying around (or what can be bought cheaply) to use as interesting containers. Last year I grew the tomatoes in old pedal bin buckets, which worked quite well – although I have since learned that the fact that one was black probably contributed to the Blossom End Rot as they dry out quickly, black soaking up the warmth of the sun.

If anyone has any hints/suggestions/warnings about what vegetables grow well in containers do please let me know. I’ve looked on various websites but I find it all a bit daunting. I’m not very green fingered at all (although I do have an asparagus fern that is almost 30 years old – I had it at college. It goes on the balcony every summer and has a wonderful time. Every autumn it comes back inside, goes brown because I forget to water it, loses a lot of its leaves but just about hangs on long enough to go outside again in the summer! I’m sure it would have the world’s worst case of Blossom End Rot if such a thing existed for asparagus ferns! It does get its own back by viciously attacking me with its barbs/thorns whenever I touch it. They can be nasty things!)

Other than garden-y musings not much else is happening.

I’ve planned a James Bond themed couple of lessons for my Collège students as we have Italian exchange students here. I didn’t think it was sensible just carrying on with the boring crap we’re doing (You can tell I’m so inspired by my work at Collège!) so for two days I hope we’ll do something more fun. Whether I’ll be able to control them is another matter… I am getting very dispirited with this work. Sigh. Never mind – it’s nearly July. ;-)

Mr D has spent today helping said friends A&G build the foundations for a garden wall. This is for their new gite, which they hope will be open for business in July. You can see their current gite in the blog roll to the left. A provided lunch, and as I wasn’t working I went up for lunch too. It was very pleasant – but hard to get back to lesson planning afterwards. We had roast pork, roast potatoes & green beans, cheeses and then yoghurt, fruit and bun-round (brioche with creme patissiere, chocolate chips and icing. Bun-round is not its real name. It’s really Brioche Suisse and looks something like this. But we call it Bun-round ) I love bun-round, but don’t buy it very often, as we’d only eat it (!) So it was good to have an excuse to buy one, and have some of it, but not very much.

Prayer meeting tonight. I can’t get very excited about it, but I think I’d better go. I wish I was more enthusiastic about these things. Still, I have to simply trust that this is a Gloomy Sunday Afternoon of the Soul (it’s hardly a “dark night of the soul”, but a gloomy Sunday afternoon… well, maybe that!) and that things will get better.

The Pigeons were Safe

To give Ian some peace of mind: The Pigeons were on the other side of the glass.

What a splendid day!

I didn’t have any teaching today – it’s a bit of a lean fortnight coming up, due to courses finishing, others not yet starting, and students being away – so I was able to spend all day making cards. I love messing about with glue, sequins, bits and bobs, and I have made 19 cards today, including two Mothers’ Day cards for MiL and mum. I suppose, going by the amount of time it takes to make a card, I sell them rather cheap (2,50€ or 3,00€) but there’s not really a card sending culture in France, so I don’t think I can sell them at an expensive price. I sell at the Artisanat (craft shop) in the village, and am thinking about asking a couple of shops if they’ll stock one or two shop-appropriate cards (e.g. baby congratulation cards in the baby clothes/toys shop) as well as leaving a box at the Language School for the other teachers to rootle through.

I tried quite a few different techniques: black & white, torn tissue paper, tea-bag folds, and I’m really pleased with all the results. I’m thinking I need to get Mr D (the Web Site Designer) to design me a card selling site. When I get the bloomin’ downloading-from-camera-to-computer cable sorted out I’ll post some photos of my favourite cards. (though as they’re now wrapped in cellophane it may be tricky to take photos. Still…nous verrons!

Collège tomorrow (shudder!) plus teaching three children and an Estate Agent. Then on Thursday, after an hour at Collège, I can spend another day playing with sequins! Huzzah!

*****

Mr D showed me a photo he’d taken of Pomme and Pumpkin gazing at pigeons. I laughed…:-) and then cried…:-(

A Cat Food called Ron

A special Hello to Ian & Agatha who have been discussing French cat noises – last post Ian asked about the noises a cat made in France. I wrote a post replying, but – because I was in a hurry – I messed up the quoting tool and the whole post was a mess. So I deleted it. Agatha’s already mentioned the ronn-ronning, but here (hopefully tidied up a bit!) is the post I was going to post earlier in the week…

Oh…I go to find the draft and I find I’ve deleted it!!! I really am not very good at this Techno-lark, am I? It’s a good job Mr D is my Very Own IT Technician!

So, to recap: To me, French meeowing and meeping sounds just like English meeows and meeps, but my on-line French dictionary says (and this is where I messed up last time. Let’s see if I can do any better this time round…):

meow‘ found in these entries:

French:

meow: WordReference English-French Dictionary © 2010

meow (cats’ sound) miaulement nm
meow (like cat) miauler v
meow (cats’ sound) miaulement nm

Agatha’s mentioned “ron-ron” which is the French “purr”. We refer to the dictionary again:

purr:

E

Pocket Oxford-Hachette French Dictionary © 2005 Oxford University Press:

purr

  1. noun (of cat, engine) ronronnement m.
  1. intransitive verb (cat, engine) ronronner.
So it appears that Parisian cats might be understood by the more provincial felines, but whether they would understand the local patois I don’t know. I suspect the Parisian cats might be a little supercilious and look down their whiskers at the locals. But maybe I’m stereotyping here!
The reason I mention cat food in the title is that there used to be a French cat food called Ron-Ron. Manda*, our cat when we lived in Milton Keynes, used to really like this cat food, so whenever we came back from holiday we would bring her some as a present…
“So, Dormouse, what souvenirs did you bring back from France?”
“A bottle of wine and ten tins of cat food…”
Sadly, Ron-Ron no longer appears to exist – globalization has even taken over the pet food world, with Sheba, Felix, Whiskas and Go-Cat/Friskies being the main choices available.
*Manda lived to a ripe old age of 19 1/2 despite beiong diabetic for the last 5 years of her life, and neding 2 insulin injections a day. She was a beautiful “calico” cat.
OK. Let’s see if I’ve messed up the quotes this time! Press “Publish”, Dormouse!

Poor Cats

I’ve mentioned before that I feed the “Poor Cats” of the village. It started when we had the really cold weather and I felt sorry for the group of cats that appear to hang out around the Post Office. I now feed them pasta and some cheap cat food every day. Often their meal includes remains from Pomme’s dinner, or some grated cheese, or some bits from our plates. Today they had a tin of tuna cat food mixed in – it was an absolute success! They went wild for it, each cat hunched over its plate (I use 7 or 8 different plates, so that the more timid cats don’t have to worry) and scarfing the food like there was no tomorrow. Then , when the quick eaters had finished and started prowling round for extras, there was quite a bit of hissing and paw-lashing.

There’s another woman who arrives sometimes to feed them as well, so they’re probably doing reasonably well. I don’t know where they all sleep though.

When I go to feed them I call ‘Minou! Minou!” (French for “Puss!”) and often four or five come running to meet me. Others start congregating at the side of the Post Office, with a chorus of mews and meeps. I have taken a few photos, but the cable to download them onto the PC is playing up, so you’ll have to wait. But we have:

Tiny Lil, Baby and Tabs – these are three tabby cats, all quite young. It’s very hard telling them apart, but I think Tiny Lil is the most timid, who will often hang back and doesn’t always get any food. Baby gets quite possessive of his/her food, and is usually the last to finish, as s/he cleans up everyone’s leftovers. Tiny Lil will sometimes come quite close to me, but shoots off if I look at her for too long.

Jetty and Tilly – two black cats, named after two black cats belonging to my mum’s neighbour. They are timid too, and scoot about like two shadows.

Ginger Pudding – he’s an enormous fat ginger cat. I don’t think he’s really a stray – his long fur is too tidy and clean. And he’s too well fed. I only give him a little food and shoo him away when he tries to muscle in on the other plates.

Minou and Minette are two grey-tabby-&-white cats. Minou is shyer than Minette, but has started rubbing him/herself against me when I arrive. Minette is very friendly and although s/he loves his/her food, s/he also enjoys a stroke and a scratch.

*****

Back to school today. It was okay, I suppose. I have learned that L., the rather disturbed young man in the class, is not being quite as helpful as I had hoped. One of the other students has told the son of a friend that, when I’m struggling for a word in French, which L helpfully supplies,  he is, in fact, supplying me with a rude word rather than the word I’m searching for. Ho, ho. What jolly japes. Still, maybe this should encourage me to learn more French!

I have finally got round to writing the dates for the terms in my diary. Imagine my horror when I discovered that, because we had a 2-week half term in February (so tout le monde could go ski-ing) there’s no half term in May. We have a 10 week term, no break. Usually there would be at least a few Bank holidays in May (both 1st and 8th) but in France, if the Bank Holiday falls on a Saturday, then it’s tant pis – You don’t get another day off instead. And guess what! They’re both on Saturday this year. The only saving grace is that we finish on 3rd July rather than struggling on for another 2 weeks like our English compatriots.

*****

I wish I could write thoughtful comments, or describe my spiritual journey, or make pithy observations about the World. But somehow I don’t do that kind of thing very well. So you get me bimbling on about stray cats and school. Sorry!

Mayonnaise Cake

I’ve already posted these on Ship Of Fools, but thought they deserved a (slightly) different audience:

BLUE PETER MAYONNAISE CAKE
275g SR flour
225g caster sugar
1.5 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla essence
200g mayonnaise
4 tbsp cocoa
225ml boiling water

1. Mix together flour, sugar & baking powder
2. Add mayo and mix till it resembles breadcrumbs
3. Dissolve cocoa in water & then add to mix with the vanilla essence
4. Put into a greased, paper-lined tin
5. Bake at 350°F/180°C/GM4 for 1 hour
6. Leave in tin to cool.
7. Suggested frosting: 2 tbsp cocoa dissolved in a little water/ 75g soft butter/225g icing sugar.

DANIELE’S HONEY SPICE CAKE
150g plain flour
5g baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
2 pinches powdered cloves
0.5 tsp nutmeg
180g runny honey
100ml milk
1 egg, beaten

1. Mix dry ingredients together in a large bowl.
2. Add everything else
3. Beat to a runny batter
4. Pour into a greased baking tin
5. Bake for about 45 mins at 180°C/ GM 4

This works with ginger instead of the other spices (or as well as the other spices)

And when I didn’t have honey I used Dandelion Jam (but I’m guessing that’s not very common elsewhere!) I think golden syrup would probably work as well.

I’ve added raisins to one cake. They sank to the bottom, but were very nice. Lumps of crystallised ginger could add to the gingeriness if you make it with ginger.

I’ve made both these and really like them – but I find that if you tell people that the mayonnaise cake is made with mayonnaise they tend to go a bit iffy about it. Make sure you don’t use mayonnaise with added garlic or mustard!

On another subject: the sermon went OK. People were very kind – I don’t know if they really did “get something from it”, or whether they were just being encouraging. But, of course, those most deeply affected may well not be saying anything. Thank you to Ian for his comments too.

There’s another Englishwoman who, I think, has joined us at church – joined us, rather than just visiting. Her French (envy, envy) is much better than mine. But she has been in France 4 times longer than I have, so there’s a bit of an excuse for me! Hopefully I’ll get more of a chance to talk to her sometime soon.

Oh! I forgot!

Happy Dance! Huzzah!

I received this e-mail from Martine:

Chère Alison,

Aujourd’hui, je peux témoigner que notre chatte a un ami, et qu’elle a été fécondée. Si ! Si !

Nous allons attendre donc 60 jours pour la naissance, si tout va bien, ce qui nous amène au SAMEDI 17 AVRIL.

TRANS:

Today I witnessed that our cat has a friend and that she was impregnated. Yes! Yes!

Therefore, we will wait 60 days for the birth,which,  if everything goes well, will be on Saturday 17th April.

:-) Watch This Space! (Well, not this space, as there’s likely to be several posts in between, but you know what I mean!)

sorry, I’ve got myself this big gappy thing and I don’t know how to get rid of it…so I’ll type in it instead! That’s what I get for trying to add things into my post that don’t want to be added.


For those who might be interested:

WARNING: A long & possibly rather boring post. Don’t feel you have to read it!!! ;-)

Here is my finished sermon. I’m not wildly happy with it, but it was a real struggle to write. I hope and pray that somewhere along the line it speaks to somebody. Often, I find it’s the sermons I’m least happy with that seem to affect someone. Or so the comments afterwards seem to say. French first, for them wot want a challenge!

Luke 12: 1-12, Romans: 10:8-13

Quand j’étais petite j’avais peur de beaucoup de choses : j’avais peur de la grande route trop animée devant notre maison, et du feu dans le salon. C’  étaient des craintes sensées parce que, comme j’avais peur de la circulation j’étais prudente quand je traversais la route, et je traitais les flammes avec respect.

Mais j’avais peur d’autres choses, de choses plus bizarres. J’imaginais qu’il y avait des monstres dans les toilettes (oui, vraiment !), je croyais qu’il y avait des cambrioleurs dans les placards, ou un lion sous le lit. Toutes ces peurs étaient illogiques – il y n’avait aucune raison pour cela, mais, en même temps, elles existaient réellement  pour moi. De temps en temps, j’avais tellement peur que je refusais d’aller au lit, ou aux toilettes! Ces peurs étaient destructrices parce qu’elles m’empêchaient de faire ce que j’avais besoin de faire, elles m’empêchaient de vivre ma vie comme on doit la vivre.

Au fur et à mesure que nous devenons adultes, nous perdons les peurs de l’enfance (vous serez soulagés d’entendre que maintenant je n’ai pas peur des monstres dans les toilettes !) mais, bien sûr elles sont remplacées par d’autres anxiétés et inquiétudes. La plupart sont logiques et font partie de la vie humaine. Mais quelques craintes, comme les peurs de mon enfance, sont destructrices. Elles nous paralysent au point que nous ne pouvons plus rien faire, elles peuvent changer notre façon de voir les choses, ou elles peuvent changer la façon dont nous nous comportons.

C’était de peurs comme ça dont Jésus a parlées quand il a dit « Méfiez-vous du levain des pharisiens, qui est l’hypocrisie. » Jésus accusait les Pharisiens d’hypocrisie, et il prévenait ses disciples de ne pas suivre le même chemin. Les Pharisiens étaient  plus concernés par ce que les gens pensaient d’eux, par le fait de faire mine de piété, plutôt que par l’état de leurs âmes. Pour eux la chose la plus importante était qu’on les voit suivre la loi à la lettre, plutôt que chercher à suivre la volonté de Dieu.

Le mot “hypocrite” vient du  Grec « acteur » parce que dans le théâtre Grec les acteurs portaient des masques, pour indiquer les rôles qu’ils jouaient. Les Pharisiens étaient  hypocrites parce qu’ils portaient des masques aussi – ils cachaient leur vrai nature aux regards des autres, et sans doute à eux-mêmes. Mais, comme Jésus le rappelait à ses disciples, ils ne pouvaient pas se cacher aux yeux de Dieu. « M ais il n’y a rien de caché qui ne sera révélé, ni rien de secret qui ne sera connu,  disait.il »

La crainte qui nous amené à cette hypocrisie est destructrice. Parce que j’ai peur de ce que les autres pensent de moi, je change mon comportement : je porte un masque. Je fais semblant d’être différent, je renie ma foi. Comme Pierre dans la cour au procès de Christ, je nie que j’ai connu Jésus. Et pourquoi ? Parce que je ne veux pas que les autres pensent mal de moi. Et cette hypocrisie peut commencer à détériorer  la relation que j’ai avec Dieu.

« Méfiez-vous du levain des pharisiens, qui est l’hypocrisie. » Jésus a choisi sa métaphore avec attention. Il décrivait l’hypocrisie comme le levain, comme la levure. Seulement un petit peu de levure peut avoir un effet sur une grande quantité de pâte, et, de la même manière seulement un rien d’hypocrisie peut avoir de l’effet sur la manière dont je vis ma vie  cela peut commencer de détruire ce que Dieu peut faire en moi, et cela peut permettre à Satan de s’incruster dans ma vie. La crainte de  ce que les autres pensent, et l’hypocrisie à laquelle cela peut conduire est vraiment  quelque chose de destructeur.

Si nous le permettons, cette hypocrisie, cette anxiété au sujet de  ce que les autres pensent, peut envahir toute notre vie. Nous vivons d’une certaine manière parce que c’est ce qu’on attend de nous; nous faisons certaines choses parce que nous pensons que nous devions faire ça. Mais ce qui devrait nous préoccuper, c’est de vivre comme Dieu veut que nous vivions. C’est ce que Jésus dit quand il nous rappelle: « craignez celui qui a le pouvoir de vous jeter dans la géhenne: oui, je vous le dis, craignez celui-là. » Franchement, cela  me donne une image terrifiante de Dieu – mais, tout de suite après il nous rappelle la toute puissance de Dieu, sa puissance sur la vie et  la mort, Jésus nous dit que Dieu est l’amour illimité, en plus de la puissance infinie. « Ne vend-on pas cinq passereaux pour deux sous? Et pas un seul d’entre eux n’est oublié devant Dieu.  Ne craignez donc pas: vous valez mieux que beaucoup de passereaux. » Bien sûr, craignez Dieu, soyez rempli du plus grand respect pour Dieu, mais n’ayez pas peur de Lui

Malgré  ces mots réconfortants, je pense que l’image de Dieu qui est donnée dans ce texte est très effrayante. Jésus parle des gens qui sont reniés, devant Dieu, il parle d’être jeté dans la géhenne, et de l’offense impardonnable contre l’Esprit Saint. Je me rappelle quand j’étais nouvelle convertie  j’avais très peur de ce qui est  écrit ici : J’avais peur de ce qui  m’arriverait si je reniais ma foi – je serais reniée et jetée dans le feu de l’enfer?

Ce fut un Chrétien sage qui me dirigea sur le passage de Romains.

On ne nous demande pas de faire des miracles, me dit mon ami, nous n’avons pas à monter jusqu’au ciel, ou à descendre  en enfer, cela a déjà été fait pour nous : Dieu a déjà fait tout çà. Tout ce que nous avons à faire, c’est de l’accepter, d’accepter que cela a déjà été fait pour nous par Christ et de reconnaître avec un  cœur humble et repentant que Jésus est Seigneur .Celui qui se confie en Lui ne sera jamais trompé. Mais, je demandais, et si je le reniais ? Alors regarde / il est dit ici que je serai renié devant les anges des cieux

« Et le disciple Pierre alors ? » Mon ami insista «  il renia son Seigneur trois fois alors qu’il avait promis de le défendre en toutes circonstances. Est-ce-qu’il fut renié par Dieu ? » Non, parce que en une vraie repentance il a reconnu son péché et il fut pardonné. Il ne portait pas de masque, en faisant semblant devant Dieu de ne rien avoir fait de mal. Il n’a pas essayé de trouver une excuse à son péché, il ne fut pas hypocrite. Et alors Jésus ne l’a pas renié. C’est la vraie hypocrisie, le refus d’admettre qu’on a fait ce qui est mal qui est vraiment dangereux et qui peut conduire à ce qu’on appelle l’impardonnable.

Encore une fois, en tant que jeune convertie, j’étais terrifiée à l’idée de commettre ce péché sans même me rendre compte que je l’avais commis ; mais mon ami m’a rassurée en me disant que quiconque a peur d’avoir commis ce péché ne doit pas s’inquiéter car le fait même d’avoir peur veut dire qu’on ne peut pas le commettre. Ce que veut dire blasphémer contre le Saint Esprit a déjà été débattu par des hommes et des femmes plus calés que moi mais je pense qu’on est en général d’accord pour dire que Jésus parlait d’un rejet total et délibéré du Saint Esprit   quelque chose qui ne peut pas être pardonné parce que on ne s’en repent pas   ; Dieu peut pardonner n’importe quel péché dont on se repent sincèrement mais si une personne ne veut pas se repentir  même face à la vérité et à la gloire qu’est le Saint Esprit de Dieu , alors même Dieu ne peut le pardonner.

Je crois que ce passage de Luc peut être assez dérangeant, car on nous demande d’affronter nos peurs. Qui craignez-vous ? Craignez-vous l’opinion des hommes  ou craignez-vous Dieu ? Et comment ces peurs vous font-elles vous comporter ?  Ce n’est pas une mauvaise chose que de se poser ces questions Mais après toutes ces réflexions  je crois que ce qu’il nous convient de faire c’est de se rappeler du passage de Romains : comme le dit l’Ecriture  Quiconque se confie en lui ne sera jamais trompé.

And now in English…

When I was young I was afraid of many things: I was afraid of the busy road outside our house, and of the open fire in our sitting room. Those things were healthy fears, because, in being afraid of the traffic meant that I was more careful when crossing the road, and I treated the flames with respect.

But I was afraid of other things as well, things a lot stranger. I imagined that there were monsters in the toilet (yes, really!), I thought there were burglars in the cupboard or lions under the bed. All these fears were illogical, there was no reason for them, but at the same time they were real for me. And from time to time, I was so scared that I refused to go to bed, or to even go to the toilet! These fears were destructive, because they stopped me from doing what I needed to do; they stopped me from living my life as it should be lived.

As we grow up, we lose the fears of childhood, (I’m no longer afraid of monsters in the toilet, you will be relieved to hear!) but, of course these are replaced by other concerns and fears. Most of these are logical, and are part of the human existence. But some fears, like those of my childhood, are destructive. They hold us back until we can’t do anything. They can change our outlook on life, or they can change how we behave.

It was the fears like this that Jesus talked of when he said:“Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy”. Jesus was accusing the Pharisees of being hypocritical and warning his disciples not to follow the same path. The Pharisees were more concerned about what people thought of them, about the outward show of piety than the state of their souls. To them, the important thing was being seen to be following the letter of the Law, rather than searching for and following the will of God.

The word “hypocrite” comes from the Greek for “actor” because in Greek theatre the actors wore masks, to denote the role that they were playing. The Pharisees were hypocrites because they too wore masks – they were hiding their true nature from others, and possibly from themselves as well. But, as Jesus reminds his Disciples, they cannot hide from God. “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known”, he said.

The fear that leads to this hypocrisy is destructive. Because I am afraid of what others might think of me, I change my behaviour: I wear a mask. I pretend to be different, I deny my beliefs. Like Peter in the courtyard at Christ’s trial, I deny I ever knew Jesus. And why? Because I don’t want people to think “badly” of me. And this hypocrisy can begin to whittle away at my relationship with God.

Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees that is hypocrisy. Jesus chooses his metaphors carefully. He describes hypocrisy as leaven, as yeast. It only takes a small amount of yeast to affect a large quantity of dough, and in the same way, even a small show of hypocrisy can affect the way I live my life: it can begin to destroy what God can do in me, and it can allow Satan a foothold in my life. The fear of what others think, and the hypocrisy that it can lead to is indeed a destructive thing.

If we allow it to, this hypocrisy, this concern with what others think, can take over our whole life. We live in a certain way because it is expected of us; we do certain things because we think that is what we think we should do. But what we should be concerned with is living how God wants us to live. It is this that Jesus says when he reminds us “Fear him who has power to throw you into hell.” Quite frankly, that gives me a terrifying picture of God – but straight after reminding us of the omnipotence of God, the power over life and death, Jesus then reminds us that God is infinite love, as well as infinite power. “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Yes, fear God, be in awe of him – but do not be afraid of Him.

Despite these comforting words, the image of God given in this passage is, I think, quite frightening. Jesus talks about people being disowned before God, about being thrown into hell, about the unforgiveable sin against the Holy Spirit.  I remember as a new Christian being very afraid of what was being said here: I was afraid of what would happen to me if I denied my faith – would I be disowned and cast aside into the flames of hell? It was a wise Christian who first pointed me to the passage in Romans.

We are not expected to work miracles, said my friend. We do not have to ascend into heaven, or descend to the deep. That has already been done for us. God has already done those things. What we need to do is accept this, to accept that it was done for us by Christ, and to acknowledge, with humble and repentant hearts, that Jesus is Lord. Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame. But, I argued, what if I deny him? Then look! It says here that I will be disowned before the angels of Heaven.

And what about the disciple Peter? My wise friend demanded. He denied his Lord three times, having promised faithfully to stand up for him in all circumstances. Was he disowned by God? No, because, with true repentance, he acknowledged his sin, and was forgiven. He did not wear a mask, pretending to himself, and God, that he had done nothing wrong; he did not try to excuse his sin. He was no hypocrite. And so Jesus did not disown him. It is true hypocrisy, the refusal to admit to wrong doing that is really dangerous, and can lead to what is called the unforgiveable sin.

Again, as a new Christian I was terrified that I would commit this sin without realising I had done so. But my friend reassured me: anyone who is afraid that they may have committed this sin need not worry, because the very act of being afraid means that they cannot commit it. What it actually means to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit has been debated by more learned men and women than I, but I think it is generally agreed that Jesus was referring to a deliberate and total rejection of the Holy Spirit, something that cannot be forgiven because it will never be repented of. God can, and will, forgive any sin for which we are truly repentant: but if a person does not and will not repent – even when faced with the truth and glory that is the Holy Spirit of God – then even God cannot forgive.

I think that this passage from Luke can be quite disturbing, as we are asked to face our fears. What do you fear? Do you fear the opinion of men, or do you fear God? And how do these fears make you behave? It is no bad thing to ask ourselves these questions, but after all our thinking, I think what we need to do is remember the words from the reading from Romans:”As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

Ha! Talk about hypocrisy…

I’ve been asked to preach on 21st February – AARGH! Just realised that’s like, next week – and am looking at the texts to get my ideas in order. And how ironic it is that the main Gospel reading (for us in the Eglise Reformée – possibly different for You guys elsewhere) is Luke 12: 1-12 Which talks about hypocrisy and fear. And leads me on to thinking about wearing masks of saying “Yes, I’m a Good Little Christian” – and preaching! – while actually having doubts about It All.

I think I will probably include that in the sermon – after all, it’s a good illustration, and I don’t worry about admitting that I have doubts. It just seems ironic that it should have turned up now. Maybe God’s trying to tell me something!